Posted By MommyPie under Misc
— February 5, 2014
Kids say the sweetest and darnedest things but after taking a look at this list of 32 things pulled from Reddit.com, you'd think twice about what comes out of their precious little mouths... 1. My daughter had an imaginary friend named Sally, she told me once about how Sally was in jail for chopping her moms head off. 2. Two years ago my door bell rang. When I answered there was a little kid 4 or 5 standing there that I didnt recognize. Before I could say anything, she yelled just so you know its your turn to die! and she disappeared around the corner again. I followed but couldnt see her anywhere. Luckily I didnt die. 3. My 5 year old handed me a rock and said, You can use this for your grave. 4. My daughter when we were home alone one night, mommy, whos that man on the ceiling? 5. My kids ( ages 5,4,&3) are constantly talking about the bloody girls in their rooms. They each go into detail about them. Their names Their clothes, what they talk about. It started when my oldest had just turned three. He said that they had been in a small green car, that fell in the water. The water turned red and their mommy and daddy were really sad. He said they liked their rooms because they have fun toys. 6. My son (3 at the time) threw a huge tantrum when we were trying to leave the house because he didn't want to crash and die. After about 10 minutes he just stopped and was ready to go. As we were walking out of the house there was a very bad accident on the street in front of our house right where we would have been driving if he hadn't thrown his fit. 7. The shadow man keeps talking to me at my window. 8. My almost 4 year old burst in on me in the bathroom. When I screamed for her to get out, he said, Mommy, its just a coochy. I see them all the time! 9. I was reading a story to my daughter when she suddenly slammed it shut, point to the empty doorway, and screamed you get out of here! Youve killed enough people! 10. My 2yr old talks and walks in his sleep. About a month after his second birthday I heard him talking in his sleep in the middle of the night so I thought aww cute I will go listen. Peeked in and he was sitting bolt upright in bed eyes wide open hands folded in lap. He said, naughty mummy. Naughty daddy. No more mummy, no more daddy. Then he laughed really creepily lay down and started snoring. 11. I need to get my hands on a giant penis so I can put this fire out all the way! 12. After finding a dead baby bird in the driveway from a nest up above, my 4 year old told me he knows where to bury it so it will come back alive. 13. Daddy, when can we get rid of that kid hanging in my closet? I asked her what she was talking about and she told me all about a teenage boy who was hanging by a belt around his neck in her closet. I went to her closet there was nothing there, and she said he only is there when Im not around. 14. My son was crying in bed at 3 am and tells us he is afraid because there is a man in his bed. We ask him about the man and tell him to ask the man to go away. The following day he tells us the mans name is Frank my husbands uncle who died the night before. Also later that week we were driving along in our van in complete silence and my son said Franks here. 15. There are three dead kids buried in our back yard. They told me where we can find them. 16. My child comes into the house with a baby gecko latched onto his finger. He proudly says Look Mom he likes my finger. I say Get him out before he gets loose in the house My 3yr old then says No. Im going to put him in the drawer with all the baby frogs. What drawer has all the baby frogs in it? Ummmm the one in your closet. he says. I recovered 3 baby frogs from my bathing suit drawer. 17. My brother was giving all the kids candy. One of my daughters friends was over and my brother asked her, you want some candy little girl? She said, youre supposed to be behind a bush when you say that 18. My son was crying in his room saying mummy Elmo keeps talking to me, I went in his room and tickle me Elmo was laughing ..ummm he had no batteries!! 19. My five year old son once looked up at me while we were watching a movie and said, �I think I remember coming out of your no-no. 20. Mommy, theres a kid covered in blood in my bedroom and he wont go away. 21. My son, Mason, told my fiancé he was going to cut his heart out and eat it.. Hes 3. 22. The first time I brought my boyfriend over, my daughter walked over (she was three), looked him dead in the eyes, and said, I think its a good idea to take your pants off now. 23. When my son was three he told me that he really likes his new daddy, hes really nice. My husband is his one and only daddy. I asked Why is that? He replied My old daddy was really mean. He stabbed me in the back and I died. But I really like my new daddy, he'd never do that to me. 24. My 4yo shook me awake one night and asked if she could sleep with me because tonight the old woman at the window was being mean for some reason. 25. An 8 year old I used to teach had a hard time with eye contact and appropriate touch. He looked me straight in the eyes one morning, not missing a beat, and told me, you know, I think you'd look a lot better if you were dead in my basement. 26. My 7-year-old son asked me, So, Mom, when Im 41 like you, how old will you be? I replied, I'll be 75. Without missing a beat, my 5-year-old daughter added, Or dead. 27. Last week i asked my kids what they wanted for Christmas. My son said For Christmas i want you to live forever then my daughter says I'd rather have a pink ipod. 28. My six year old was crying in her bedroom. It took lots of asking and she finally told me that a strange man had shown up and told her that I would be dead before midnight. 29. Mom, why is that lady from the cemetery sitting in my room? 30. A friends daughter (3 years old at the time) told my friend in a very quiet voice: I will put a towel over your face and send you to live with Jesus! 31. Aren't you gonna say hi to Uncle Chris ? By my 3 year old when I was watching her jumping on the trampoline.Uncle Chris drowned in the lake 9 years before she was even born, and nobody in our family talks about it, ever. I asked her where he was and she pointed to the garage and said He tells me to be careful Whoa. 32. As she pointed to the old wood stove in the middle of our front room: Jimmy said that was where he did it. I asked her who Jimmy was and what he was talking about, she said Jimmy is the guy who comes and talks to me at night. He said he killed his mom right there. My daughter was five.
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